change – Page 3

“Never let what others say be your truth.”

I recently in a very proud grand dad moment posted photos of our grand children and noted the t shirt one of them had on as “covering his angels wings”. I said nothing of the t shirt or that it had a skull on the front. It was of no concern to me only using what I thought to be humor, noting that great grandmother and grandson were plotting to reveal his angel status at a later date. What I received from someone very close to me was an email saying “its just a t shirt get over yourself”. Huh, first off the response made no sense and was not what I expected. It was more the get over yourself than anything

With more than 60 years of experience at living life, I am still often stunned by comments from those I have know for years. Often judgmental for all the wrong reasons and sure that they need to keep me in my place. I cant began to tell you how many times over the years someone I trust or I am close to has flippantly tossed out a derogatory, unexpected, clearly unfounded, and blatantly untrue comment. Let me give you a couple of examples.

While playing of all things Foosball more than 30 years ago a competitor across the table who I had know at that time for more than 10 years said “Carter just not that good”. This after through finesse and skill cleaned his clock two games in a row in front of more than 10 people that were watching. I barely had time to celebrate my victory before “your just not that good”.

Sevaeral years later, yet again, playing racquetball with a friend and delivering 3 games in a row of defeat to my then friend I heard, “Carter your just not that good”. I quickly reminded him “I just beat you 3 games to zero, so clearly one of us is that good. From where I am standing its me”.

Why would a man with significant life experiences and interactions with a broad range of people, places and things be concerned, offended or just down right hurt by the voice of so very few. Its because when it comes from someone close, someone you trusted, invested in, counted on for direction friendship or leadership your view of what was “so” is dramatically impacted. Change and the perspective and the assumptions there in of beliefs, security and comfort of the known is shattered. Often resulting in gut wrenching pain and heartbreak.

Over more than 40 years I have sat across the table form men and women who were often significantly above my educational, social and economic standing as well as many who were quite possibly my junior in those standings. My best conservative count is at least 19,000 people, not including seminars, training, social clubs, speaking opportunity’s, as well as general conversations with friends and family. In a majority of those conversations my purpose was to inform, challenge or to establish a call to action, or to assist them in making a decision. In the majority of those interactions my experience and professional delivery of that information was accepted, appreciated, and used for the purpose it was intended. In others not so much.

My point, I do have some experience in the matters of life and so do you! Don’t let others take your well earned wisdom and understanding away. And never let them derail you from that calling and purpose God has given you. The hard reality is, now is the time to break free from those concerns of what others think. DLC

” We fear the judgments of others, even though those judgments are rarely valid or significant. The biggest problem is that we tend to forget that people judge us based on a collection of influences in their own life that have nothing to do with us. Basing your self-worth on what others think puts you in a perpetual state of vulnerability- you are literally at the mercy of their unreliable perspective”

My hope is you and I will began to let go of those thoughts, people, places, and things that habitually drag us down. “There is much to learn that will take a willingness to not know.” Thoughtful instruction given to me in prayer more than 18 years ago. A confusing yet profound reassurance of what was ahead. A simple yet explicit instruction. So what to do. Well if I am to follow the instructions then learning is the object then a lack of knowing “faith” must be the key. Well that’s the complete opposite of everything I know. How do you learn without knowing?

start by taking action, or what might be referred to as blind faith, step out, without confirmation, trusting your instinct or heart, that internal thought process or drive.
Continual prayer asking for guidance and direction beyond your ability, knowledge, and expertise.
Having done all stand. Not like do nothing but like in firm confidence of the outcome. “For your good and Gods glory”
Never forget that what others “think” is really of no concern, and beyond your control. What they do is where our purpose to encourage and instruct lives.

“There is a peace that comes with surrendering self to Gods will and not our own that is miraculous.” Courage and obedience produce great rewards” DLC Sr.

Isaiah 43: 18-19

Do not remember the former things; neither consider the things of old. 19. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it, and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

May God bless your life as you pursue him! May Gods love and kindness direct you as we are renewed and strengthened as he does a new thing in our lives, the journey to our new lives is on foot, led by the Spirit, to serve Him, and others.

“It’s just words”.

Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com

When this is the ongoing “result” it’s time to “let go” and move on.

When this is the ongoing “result” it’s time to “let go” and move on.

They act as if you don’t matter. Your family or a friend but your still an outsider.

What you say has no weight or concern even if there’s proof.

Prefer others over you in their actions.

Do not include you in the conversation.

Think and act as if it’s ok for you to be harmed by others “it must have been your fault”

“If you were more like us you wouldn’t have these problems”.

Your experience or expertise is of no value and often questioned. Even if there is proof!

Ignore you over others in a group.

Talk about you to each other but do not talk to you.

Invite you and then ignore you.

Call you for a favor but never reciprocate.

Listen to your concerns and then explain them away and how you misunderstood in the first place.

Talk to each other about your failure and come to the conclusion you deserved it.

Talk about prayer but never take “physical” action to actually change anything.

Ask you how you are doing only to take that as gossip to others.

………..

Quote: Marc and Angel Chernoff “Getting Back to Happy” 2018 Penguin Random House Publishing LLC

“If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are inconsistently inconsistent, and their actions never match up with their words, it might be time to let them go. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. In the end true friendship/family is a promise made in the heart, silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time. So don’t just listen to what they say, watch what they do. “

“It’s just words”.

Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com

Breaking Through: Monster Trucks and Spiritual Dreams

Dreams, I am amazed how often I have them and especially the ones I remember. For me they often seem to be meant to encourage, direct or break through. I have no scientific documentation, to base my assertion on but I do have friends and family that have had similar experiences. I remembered John Travolta played in a movie several years ago where a bright light in the night sky projected on to him, knocked him down in the street, and when he woke up he was significantly smarter and able to suggest solutions to significant problems. Just to be clear ( LOL) I have not been struck by a bright light in the night sky and my family and friends have not indicated they have seen any change in my intelligence. I do however hope that my experience just like the character in the move will help you to break through what’s been holding you back.

Recently I dreamed I was running away from something or someone and I was very agitated. I was in what seemed to be a monster truck. You know the ones that are so high you need a ladder to get in. Large tires, cramped seating space, flashy exterior, and above it all. Its all about power, brut force, and able to over power and muscle through anything. I was driving, up high, in what seemed to be a warehouse. I could see tools and materials on the ground below me. I was looking for a way out of the warehouse. I saw many open doors/exits but because I was up so high I could not get through the doors.

I saw two men outside of the truck door on the drivers side. One was large the other was small. The larger one reached inside the cab of the monster truck and grab the GPS off of the dash. I took the keys from the ignition and began hitting him on the head with them. As this was happening something with numerous legs or tentacles attached to my head. Something like a centipede but with a hard shell. The smaller man told me to dismantle the legs and pull them off one by one from the grip they had on my head. As I began doing so I noticed it did not hurt like I had expected. As I thought about this dream when I woke up I came to the conclusion this is how it applies to me.

The monster truck represented my self will and desire for significance. I had been determining my own way and direction ( the GPS) and not totally depending on Him. I desperately wanted to get out of the warehouse (where my way of doing things had taken me) where I felt trapped and frustrated and be able to use the tools that were clearly available to me. There were numerous open doors or exits but being up so high ( my own self imposed need for importance) I could not escape. To do so would require steeping down from the drivers seat and not in control of the course or direction.

The large man is my Heavenly Father reaching in to my life to take way what I had been using for my direction and purpose ( the GPS). I stubbornly attempted to hang on to the keys (control) and used them to assert my will. The smaller man is the Holy Spirit and directed me to began dismantling those thoughts, and ways of being that had become so attached to my mind. In doing so I experienced freedom and relief, not pain.

I am amazed at how this simple yet detailed dream speaks to me. I needed to understand how I arrived at my current destination and how to correct my course. Proverbs 3 : 5-7 instructs us to Lean on trust in and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight and understanding. In all your ways know, recognize and acknowledge Him and He will direct and make straight and plain your path. Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn entirely away from evil.

I hope you will be challenged and encouraged to join me in letting go, surrendering self and following Christ. Courage and obedience produce great rewards.

May God bless your life as you pursue Him. May Gods love and kindness direct you as we are renewed and strengthened as he does a new thing in our lives, the journey to our new life is on foot, led by the Spirit and Gods Word, to serve Him, and others.

Dwight L. Carter Sr.

“A trust broken cannot be repaired, but does provide a new beginning.”

A simple yet profound phone call changed my life. Little did I know I was about to experience a betrayal I could not have ever imagined. An offer to resolve a problem, a need fulfilled at an opportunity of vulnerability, words from a trusted source.

Words are powerful, they have influence, especially coming from someone in authority or someone who fills a respected role. An experience that changed my thinking, willingness, and how I process information before I allow someone into my circle of trust. A change that has made its way to the roots of my mental, physical, and spiritual way of life.

Growing up it was easy to trust the people around me. My Father, Mother, Sister, Grandparents, Aunts, and Uncles. My well being was at the heart of their concern, evidenced by what they did or didn’t do, or said, or didn’t say. The clarity of their actions matched the words they expressed. If I was told an action was going to be taken it happened? Whether it was punishment, reward, instruction, or support, I could count on it. No manipulation, half-truths, or blatant lying. Just the truth, truth you could count on, and most of all trust

I have experienced 3 layoffs, and let go without cause twice in my work life. The layoffs were over a 22 year period as a sales rep in the ever cyclical oilfield. I loved that line of work. The other 2, one by a sales manager that took my efforts and applied them to her boyfriend, my coworker to boost his sales. They did marry after I was let go but I also learned they were both fired not to long after that. Him for code of conduct violations namely paying someone to inflate his sales numbers and her after being demoted for participating in the scheme, decided to retire and become a minister. I didn’t see that coming. The second was either my age, or my salary, my performance, or maybe she just didn’t like me. I had been top perform the 5 years prior to joining her team. After 40 years as a professional in the workforce, numerous life experiences, and conversations with other professionals, I guess that’s just about par for the course.

Oh I have also been kidnapped at gun point in my own car, survived a major Automobile accident, had a 10,000 lb. blowout preventer underneath a drilling rig, being held by a hydraulic support system slip 6 inches (another few and I would have been a spot in the mud), survived a brain tumor after 9/1/2 hour of surgery and back at work in 6 weeks. My point in all of that is, at this point in my life as they say, I am a seasoned veteran. The people, places, and things in life, the good, the bad and the really bad at times have broken me. Yet provided an opportunity to rebuild, and thankfully, made me stronger.

So I have some experience in the difficulty’s of life, and let me just say it’s worth remembering, who our Heavenly Father is and the purpose He has for our lives. Luke 4:18:says, “He has anointed me to preach the good news to the poor, He has sent me to announce release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to send forth delivered those who are oppressed, who are downtrodden, bruised, crushed, and broken down by calamity. ”

Encourage others as a way of L. I. F. E. this is my purpose, and opportunity’s to fulfill that purpose are presented daily. Transforming the past, present, and future by the renewing of the mind through stories, true story’s that challenge the heart and engage the mind.

Start today to let go of the past, but don’t forget the lessons. A greater vision of ones purpose is available through Gods word and prayer, in spite of what ones day, to day circumstances in life may be. Look for those opportunity’s to set self aside and surrender to Gods perfect will for your life. Manage your thoughts and focus on His will and plan for your life. Opportunity’s to serve and “trust” Him and others will show up unexpectedly with purpose. Those divine appointments that minister to you and encourage others.

“Eyes and heart open, there is no better way to live”.dlc

May God bless your life as you pursue Him! May Gods love and kindness direct you as we are renewed and strengthened as He does a new thing in our lives, the journey to our new lives is on foot, led by the Spirit, to serve Him, and others.

Dwight

And We Are Changed

In Priscilla Shirers book” And We Are Changed Encounters with a Transforming God’ ( Moody Publishers 2003) she asks the reader to remember when God performs a “Lazarus miracle in our lives, we should be changed and drastically different”. She asks the reader to remember when;

He:
Resurrected my hope -2006
Resurrected my marriage -2/18/09
Resurrected my finances -09/ 2006
Resurrected my children’s spiritual life -2008
Resurrected my career -01/2006
Resurrected my health -03/2002
Resurrected my heart for him -2002

I wrote in my copy the dates above when those important needs became answered prayers. Encounters with our Heavenly Father are often dramatic life changing events. Yet more time than not a result of an unexpected opportunity to minister to serve to stand in for someone in need. I am always amazed at those divine appointments that show up unannounced yet with an impact as I travel on business. It often happens when my self is tired, or struggling with my own challenge.

I had the opportunity to share this with a housekeeper at the hotel I was staying at several months ago. I had been staying in the same room for several days on business. I was early getting back to the hotel and she was just coming out of the room. She had tears in her eyes and quickly wiped them away as if embarrassed and explained she was leaving me a note. I am sure she saw my bible open in the room each day while I was out and as she was going about her work. She told me the note just said “would you pray for me”. I don’t recall a time that has ever happened.

I talked with her a moment and found that she had something stolen from her and was not sure how she was going to resolve it. It was clear to me that many things had been stolen from her; it was evident in her expression. I have seen that expression in my own mirror, on several occasions.

I started to say “I will keep you in my prayers” yet found my self saying “would you mind if I prayed for you”. Her surprise gave way to tears, both she and I, and standing in the hallway, I said a simple prayer for guidance, direction, and a resolution to her trouble.

She had lost $80.00 as a result of trusting a co worker to borrow something out of her locker. The co worker took the $80.00 she found in the locker and then left and quit. I asked her to pray about it for 24 hours and then leave me a note and I would leave $80.00 at the front desk in an envelope if it was not resolved. She thanked me.

I did not hear from her and did not see her again before I left a couple of days later. I choose to believe that God answered her prayer in a way only He can. That missing $80.00 affected three people that day. One who trusted and then was in need ( her), one who deceived and stole from another ( the coworker), and one who had, but needed to give ( my self).

“There is much to learn that will take a willingness to not know.”
It has been 18 years ago those words came into my thoughts while laying face down on the carpet in my small apartment. Praying and crying uncontrollably for something, someone had stolen from me. I was angry when those words registered to my mind. I stopped my crying to yell out “what does that mean”. I have learned that not always knowing the why, but always obeying is sometimes the better choice. I left a note for the housekeeper at the front desk on the day of my departure and is attached below.

Dear Carole,
David was just a Sheppard boy and yet God used him greatly as a result of his heart. The bible says he was a man after Gods own heart. As I see it, he had an openness to Gods will and a willingness to set aside self. He became king and yet made mistakes that cost him dearly. We are all human with all that comes with that. My mistakes have been many. I have had numerous challenges where someone, something or even my self has caused great pain or insurmountable challenges in my life.

Forgiveness of self, others, and our sins is a part of a greater closeness to our Heavenly Father. There is a peace that comes with surrendering self to Gods will and not our own that is miraculous. Even when things do not look any different at the moment, there is a knowingness in your heart. Sometimes the challenges in our life are Gods way of binging us closer to him. We sometimes have to fall flat on our face with no where to go or turn within ourselves. Abraham Lincoln was quoted as saying “I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for that day”. At that point our heart becomes willing to surrender to God and his perfect plan for our lives.

The Christian Life is not an easy road but then life is not easy. 2nd Corinthians 18:9 We were under great pressure far beyond our abilities to endure. So that we despaired even of life. In our hearts we felt death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.

1 Peter 5:7 says casting the whole of your care, all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all, on Him; for He cares for you affectionately and cares about “you” watchfully.

Dwight