“Habits, that thing you do repeatedly because you gain or lose something in return for the action or non-action you decided you wanted or needed to be, do, or have”. DLCSr
Habits by definition;
Habits are routine behaviors done on a regular basis. They are recurrent and often unconscious patterns of behavior and are acquired through frequent repetition. Many of these are unconscious as we don’t even realize we are doing them.
Do you notice that the word behavior is, frequently used in the explanations above? Behaviors are tied to habits.
Habits are the way in which one acts or conducts oneself. The way in which a person acts in response to a particular situation or stimulus.
So behavior is the way in which we act or our actions as we saw in week 5. Our thoughts become our words, which becomes our actions, which become our “habits”. Our behavior changes as we manage those thoughts that helps to shape our words, that leads to our action’s, that become our habits. Ultimaly leading to the way we behave!
Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines habits as:
“A persons dominant thoughts and feelings”
“A chosen behavior”
It comes with frequent repetition that becomes you performing the chosen behavior.
So we can see that habits define our character, our thoughts and feelings and our ‘usual’ behaviors. We can also see that habits are behaviors that are nearly or completely involuntary and because they are repeated frequently, we become ‘better’ at them (increased facility of performance).
Psychology definition
A habit can also be thought of as a link between a stimulus and a response. It serves as a mental connection between a trigger thought or event (stimulus) and our response to that trigger (the response). Repeating this connection time and again forms a habit and affects all subsequent decisions and actions. If repeated often enough, this connection becomes near permanent unless we take conscious action to change it.
So lets rap this up by simply saying how you behave is a result of your habits. What you think leads to what you say, that leads to what you do, and the actions you take repeated over time becomes a habit, that ultimately changes your behavior, and becomes your character. “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.” Which brings us to our reason and purpose of living our L.I.F.E,
See you next week we will talk about character on our way to fulfilling our destiny!
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you.
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace.
May you reach the purpose for which you were created.
May you have courage above your pears.
May you have more passion for the things of God than others think is necessary.
May you dream more than others think is practical.
May you expect more than others think is possible.
May you choose wisely without earthly biases.
You have people to in influence you have not yet not met.
You are strategically placed where ever God takes you by His grand design. Just so you can become everything He made you to be.
That place is the place you can grow best,
That place is a place you can be most fruitful.
The place where the future is changed because of your presence and His.
May you see vistas that others don’t even know exist.
May you see God in every petal or every flower and every blade of grass. For each of them are designed by His hand.
May you bless your children and they become giants in the Faith under The Mighty Hand of God.
You won’t fail, you were made by God to be hear, for such a time as this.
“Selah stop and think of this.”
May God bless your life as you pursue him! May Gods love and kindness direct you as we are renewed and strengthened as he does a new thing in our lives, the journey to our new life is on foot, led by the Spirit and Gods Word, to serve Him, and others.
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
Dwight L.Carter Sr.
If our thoughts are our actions in rehearsal then words are our actions in dressed rehearsal before opening night. Webster defines Action as: an act of will, the manner or method of performing.
Life is a performance, all of life is lived and in essence choreographed by our thoughts, by what we say and then played out by our actions. To further our path in life these foundational behaviors result in the habits we maintain and then the character we build culminating in our all-encompassing destiny.
Dwight L. Carter Sr. My path to action!
Dr. Enaka Yembe is a Physician, and the founder of American Stat-Care centers who was able to open her first clinic from her sick bed in 2006 and grow it to a 7-figure company.
5 steps to taking action:
1.Have faith in your abilities. Each of us was born with the God-given ability to be successful. Hold fast to this thought, especially during moments of indecision.
2. Face your fears. What’s holding you back? Examine your fears closely and work on overcoming them. Is the fear rational, in reaction to real danger? Or, is it based on emotion?
3. Step out of your comfort zone. Stretching ourselves a little takes courage and requires us to take action. Stepping out of our comfort zone will give us new confidence and hence the courage to reach new heights.
4.Accept failure. Failure will come. It’s a part of life. Use your failures as stepping-stones to success. Learn from failures and move on. Don’t wait to take action because of the fear of failure.
5. Be independent. Learn to stand on your own and have confidence in the decisions that you make. Avoid relying on the support or approval of those around who will prevent you from taking action.
Next-week Habits:
Habits are routine behaviors done on a regular basis. They are recurrent and often unconscious patterns of behavior and are acquired through frequent repetition. Many of these are unconscious as we don’t even realize we are doing them.
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
Words!
Sticks and stones will break my bones, but “WORDS” will never hurt me. A phrase repeated on the playground by children when I was growing up. A catchy phrase to deflect the hurt when someone uses words as a weapon. The truth is it’s just not true!
Words have led to horrific disasters, protracted wars, kingdoms, and dynasties have been toppled by the sheer power of words. Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me? They can also heal, strengthen, motivate and encourage. Choose wisely it’s your L.I.F.E.
The power behind selecting your vocabulary with care lies in your ability to manage your language in order to better manage your emotions. When you’re aware that words are powerful and create emotion at all levels, you can then manage your vocabulary to assure that the words you use serve you well. Once you begin to identify words you use that don’t serve you or your future in a positive manner, simply replace them with more constructive and courageous vocabulary. The words you write or speak to others can leave a huge impact and create a lasting memory–either good or bad–so it’s important to choose them wisely.
-Betty Eadie PUBLISHED ON: NOV 5, 2015
I would encourage you to read “Your Word is Your Wand Florence Scovel Shinn Published 1928” available on amazon. “So man has power to change an unhappy condition by waving over it the wand of his word.” Consider that all you do begins with what you think and allow in your mind and how you express those thoughts through words. So far we have talked about thoughts, turning thoughts into words,and Next week Words into
ACTIONS!
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
Week 3.
Change not my favorite especially as I have progressed in life, which really means “older”. Yet in looking back my life as actually been about change going all the way back to junior high. One would”think” over the last 40 plus years I would have made friends with change and learned to accommodate it in my life and actually have some mastery over and with change. The truth is, I do, and my purpose is to encourage and challenge you in that regards so let’s begin, by asking a question, what is change?
Webster’s unabridged says;
Change verb (action)
Author Unknown
Change Is…..
“Change is something that presses us out of our comfort zone. It is destiny-filtered, heart grown, faith built. Change is inequitable; not a respecter of persons. Change is for the better or for the worst, depending on where you view it. Change has an adjustment period which varies on the individual. It is uncomfortable, for changing from one state to the next upsets our control over outcomes. Change has a ripping effect on those who won’t let go. Flex is the key. Even a roller coaster ride can be fun if you know when to lean and create new balance within the change. Change is needed when all the props and practices of the past no longer work. Change is not comforted by the statement ‘just hang in there’ but with the statement ‘you can make it’. We don’t grow in retreat, but through endurance. Change isn’t fixed by crying, worrying, or mental treadmilling. Change is won by victors not victims; and that choice is ours.”
“DLCSr”…..
Our minds work to make us right! There are thoughts flying around all the time, and some of them land on you and me LOL. You get to choose what you keep and what you discard. If you tell yourself something often enough and long enough it will become your reality. I know you’re thinking I don’t know about this, but think of it this way. When we practice for an event like sports, theater, singing, delivering a church sermon, or public speaking what are we doing. We are teaching our minds, and our thoughts to behave, to “think” in a way that we instruct it to. By providing the information to our thoughts about what we want to do, and how to do it we instruct our actions to participate. To deliver and perform those thoughts and actions we have rehearsed mentally and now want to display physically.
So what to do. Start by first deciding to live like who you are and what you do make a difference. What you tell yourself about who you are and what you do on a regular basis becomes your reality. Determine to take daily steps to eliminate thoughts that do not serve you, your life goals, and purpose. Write it down, make a list of what you want to do and who you want to be. Decide what you are willing to accept and what you are not. Seek out those people places and things that support your vision and your purpose in life. Most importantly decide to hold yourself accountable for taking those daily, often small steps to change. I promise you will be glad you did.
I have included my original list of those people, places, and things that gave purpose to my thinking and determination to my commitment to change. Why because they matter to me. Those lessons I have learned and experienced over time through failure, and success. They may not be applicable to you but at least a place to start that’s not just random but a road traveled by someone you know, Me.
Remember you make a difference and your family and friends need you. Your destiny is made up of many things,people, places, and events. Next we will talk about the power of “WORDS”.
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
Week 1
If failure were money I would be a millionaire.
If uncertainty was an educational degree I would have a masters.
If disappointments were rewarded I would be the guest of honor.
If anxiety was a temperature mine would at least be 103. Not enough to kill me but enough to really keep me down.
In spite of these ongoing challenges in life I have managed to earn my living over the years in several capacity’s that from the outside some would say I was not necessarily qualified for. I have been granted access in manufacturing facility’s pitching products or services that were beyond my expertise. I have been trusted with and been on dangerous assignments on offshore and land based drilling rigs where a simple mistake or a moment of indecision could be fatal. I have asked for and been granted appointments with business leaders way above my socio, educational and economic level. I have provided advice, and expertise in areas where some would say I was not qualified for. I have been given guidance and direction from individuals who had nothing to gain from me, and yet were compelled to do just that.
The commonality in all was and is my “thinking”. I am convinced I just didn’t realize I wasn’t qualified, and drive and ambition blindly pushed me forward toward what I wanted to be, do, or have. Given some thought could be that true for you as well?
I know it’s not just that simple, to think and it will be. Yet in 1937 Napoleon Hill wrote a bestselling training and motivational book entitled “Think and Grow Rich”. Maxwell Malts in 1960 wrote “Psycho-Cybernetics”. His work defines the mind-body connection as the core in succeeding in attaining personal goals. My favorite Zig Ziegler wrote “See You at The Top” “The how to book that gives you a checkup from the neck up to eliminate stinkin thinkin and avoid hardening of the attitudes” in 1982 and many others until his passing in 2012.
All of these men studied, researched, and provided instruction as to the importance of what we think. Eastern philosophies touted the benefits and importance of our thoughts. The Bible in addressing maters of the heart or spirit addresses the challenges of what we think and allow into our minds: Simply put, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he” Proverbs 23 vs 7.
It has been said we only have control over three things in our life:
The thoughts we think.
The images we visualize.
The actions we take.
I have found that to be true in my life have you?
So what do I do, if how I manage my thoughts and how and what I think is so very important, how do I go about managing what I think? Or can we?
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
A letter to my Mom “ Rosemary Caldwell”,
I wanted you to see the power of what I call “generational living by example”. What I have learned from you and Dad and what Vilma learned from her Mom and Dad is bearing fruit, “growing”. Sometimes it seems what has been planted is not blooming as expected. Has what’s been sown not taken root, have we failed in our efforts to teach, and direct, by example.
No, it has been gaining strength, just below the surface, until its time. Encouragement, determination, acceptance, direction, and often intervention win out over the challenges of life. An overwhelming garden of beauty, so many wonderful and different flowers “our children and grandchildren” spring up and show their beauty. It is a reminder to me and I wanted to share Charice’s story with you
( there were more than 82 likes and comments to her post. Clearly her heart and actions touched others) .
Vilma and I will never let our garden go unattended. These treasures “children and grandchildren” strengthen my heart and give wings to my purpose in life. Thank you for loving me so I could understand and love those who follow in your steps and ours.
Dwight Sr.
Charice Thoman
11 hrs
I was reminded again, tonight, what it means to be a nurse. To give love and compassion to each individual in their most trying times.
While suctioning the trach (airway) of a young man, only 8 years older than my son, I gently rubbed his arm and reassured him he will be ok, as he was very anxious. After he motioned to me that his airway was clear, he reached out his arm, grabbed my hand and squeezed it as tears rolled down his face. He can’t speak due to the tracheotomy, but ‘lipped’ “Thank you”. Most times it just takes a little extra TLC and comforting to let people not only know, but *feel* you care about them.
Charice, I could not be more proud of you. Your strength and compassion commitment and determination are the cornerstones of our family. Your heart encourages me your actions inspire me. Never stop growing always trust your heart. Love Dad.
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
www.tellthemyourstory .org
I recently in a very proud grand dad moment posted photos of our grand children and noted the t shirt one of them had on as “covering his angels wings”. I said nothing of the t shirt or that it had a skull on the front. It was of no concern to me only using what I thought to be humor, noting that great grandmother and grandson were plotting to reveal his angel status at a later date. What I received from someone very close to me was an email saying “its just a t shirt get over yourself”. Huh, first off the response made no sense and was not what I expected. It was more the get over yourself than anything
With more than 60 years of experience at living life, I am still often stunned by comments from those I have know for years. Often judgmental for all the wrong reasons and sure that they need to keep me in my place. I cant began to tell you how many times over the years someone I trust or I am close to has flippantly tossed out a derogatory, unexpected, clearly unfounded, and blatantly untrue comment. Let me give you a couple of examples.
While playing of all things Foosball more than 30 years ago a competitor across the table who I had know at that time for more than 10 years said “Carter just not that good”. This after through finesse and skill cleaned his clock two games in a row in front of more than 10 people that were watching. I barely had time to celebrate my victory before “your just not that good”.
Sevaeral years later, yet again, playing racquetball with a friend and delivering 3 games in a row of defeat to my then friend I heard, “Carter your just not that good”. I quickly reminded him “I just beat you 3 games to zero, so clearly one of us is that good. From where I am standing its me”.
Why would a man with significant life experiences and interactions with a broad range of people, places and things be concerned, offended or just down right hurt by the voice of so very few. Its because when it comes from someone close, someone you trusted, invested in, counted on for direction friendship or leadership your view of what was “so” is dramatically impacted. Change and the perspective and the assumptions there in of beliefs, security and comfort of the known is shattered. Often resulting in gut wrenching pain and heartbreak.
Over more than 40 years I have sat across the table form men and women who were often significantly above my educational, social and economic standing as well as many who were quite possibly my junior in those standings. My best conservative count is at least 19,000 people, not including seminars, training, social clubs, speaking opportunity’s, as well as general conversations with friends and family. In a majority of those conversations my purpose was to inform, challenge or to establish a call to action, or to assist them in making a decision. In the majority of those interactions my experience and professional delivery of that information was accepted, appreciated, and used for the purpose it was intended. In others not so much.
My point, I do have some experience in the matters of life and so do you! Don’t let others take your well earned wisdom and understanding away. And never let them derail you from that calling and purpose God has given you. The hard reality is, now is the time to break free from those concerns of what others think. DLC
In the book “Getting Back to Happy” Mark & Angel Chernoff Penguin Random House LLC copyright 2018 they provide the following instruction:
” We fear the judgments of others, even though those judgments are rarely valid or significant. The biggest problem is that we tend to forget that people judge us based on a collection of influences in their own life that have nothing to do with us. Basing your self-worth on what others think puts you in a perpetual state of vulnerability- you are literally at the mercy of their unreliable perspective”
My hope is you and I will began to let go of those thoughts, people, places, and things that habitually drag us down. “There is much to learn that will take a willingness to not know.” Thoughtful instruction given to me in prayer more than 18 years ago. A confusing yet profound reassurance of what was ahead. A simple yet explicit instruction. So what to do. Well if I am to follow the instructions then learning is the object then a lack of knowing “faith” must be the key. Well that’s the complete opposite of everything I know. How do you learn without knowing?
“There is a peace that comes with surrendering self to Gods will and not our own that is miraculous.” Courage and obedience produce great rewards” DLC Sr.
Isaiah 43: 18-19
May God bless your life as you pursue him! May Gods love and kindness direct you as we are renewed and strengthened as he does a new thing in our lives, the journey to our new lives is on foot, led by the Spirit, to serve Him, and others.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
