Starve your fears feed your faith!
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
Category: trust
Habits, That Thing You Do Repeatedly!
“Habits, that thing you do repeatedly because you gain or lose something in return for the action or non-action you decided you wanted or needed to be, do, or have”. DLCSr
Habits by definition;
Habits are routine behaviors done on a regular basis. They are recurrent and often unconscious patterns of behavior and are acquired through frequent repetition. Many of these are unconscious as we don’t even realize we are doing them.
Do you notice that the word behavior is, frequently used in the explanations above? Behaviors are tied to habits.
Habits are the way in which one acts or conducts oneself. The way in which a person acts in response to a particular situation or stimulus.
So behavior is the way in which we act or our actions as we saw in week 5. Our thoughts become our words, which becomes our actions, which become our “habits”. Our behavior changes as we manage those thoughts that helps to shape our words, that leads to our action’s, that become our habits. Ultimaly leading to the way we behave!
Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines habits as:
- an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary. “It is an acquired behavior”
- the prevailing disposition or character of a person’s thoughts and feelings.
“A persons dominant thoughts and feelings”
- a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior.
“A chosen behavior”
- a behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition or physiologic exposure that shows itself in regularity or increased facility of performance.
It comes with frequent repetition that becomes you performing the chosen behavior.
So we can see that habits define our character, our thoughts and feelings and our ‘usual’ behaviors. We can also see that habits are behaviors that are nearly or completely involuntary and because they are repeated frequently, we become ‘better’ at them (increased facility of performance).
Psychology definition
A habit can also be thought of as a link between a stimulus and a response. It serves as a mental connection between a trigger thought or event (stimulus) and our response to that trigger (the response). Repeating this connection time and again forms a habit and affects all subsequent decisions and actions. If repeated often enough, this connection becomes near permanent unless we take conscious action to change it.
So lets rap this up by simply saying how you behave is a result of your habits. What you think leads to what you say, that leads to what you do, and the actions you take repeated over time becomes a habit, that ultimately changes your behavior, and becomes your character. “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.” Which brings us to our reason and purpose of living our L.I.F.E,
See you next week we will talk about character on our way to fulfilling our destiny!
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
The Blessing 2019
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you.
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace.
May you reach the purpose for which you were created.
May you have courage above your pears.
May you have more passion for the things of God than others think is necessary.
May you dream more than others think is practical.
May you expect more than others think is possible.
May you choose wisely without earthly biases.
You have people to in influence you have not yet not met.
You are strategically placed where ever God takes you by His grand design. Just so you can become everything He made you to be.
That place is the place you can grow best,
That place is a place you can be most fruitful.
The place where the future is changed because of your presence and His.
May you see vistas that others don’t even know exist.
May you see God in every petal or every flower and every blade of grass. For each of them are designed by His hand.
May you bless your children and they become giants in the Faith under The Mighty Hand of God.
You won’t fail, you were made by God to be hear, for such a time as this.
“Selah stop and think of this.”
May God bless your life as you pursue him! May Gods love and kindness direct you as we are renewed and strengthened as he does a new thing in our lives, the journey to our new life is on foot, led by the Spirit and Gods Word, to serve Him, and others.
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
Week 5 “actions”, The Dressed Rehearsal Before Opening Night.
Dwight L.Carter Sr.
If our thoughts are our actions in rehearsal then words are our actions in dressed rehearsal before opening night. Webster defines Action as: an act of will, the manner or method of performing.
Life is a performance, all of life is lived and in essence choreographed by our thoughts, by what we say and then played out by our actions. To further our path in life these foundational behaviors result in the habits we maintain and then the character we build culminating in our all-encompassing destiny.
Dwight L. Carter Sr. My path to action!
- Cultivate a desire to make a difference. It starts with purpose, that inner need to contribute. It’s actually in all of us, by design.
- Produce an environment that supports you and your vision. Let go of those people places and things that do not support you. You already know who and what’s on that list. It been nagging at you for years now is the time to break free.
- Provide information for yourself in regards to getting results. The greatest source of action and influence in your life is the books you read and the people you meet.
- Get involved with people & organizations who support&create the environment, vision, & result you are committed to. Like-minded people support and drive each other. Enough is enough being social doesn’t always support “YOU”. Following the same old crowd is debilitating to your calling and your personal vision.
- Structure your thought life to your vision. I cant express this enough, your thoughts and what you do with them shapes your day, your week, your month, your year, your L.I.F.E.
- Speak your vision. Stand up and step forward, there is no one just like you. All of us need to hear your voice and your expression of encouragement and leadership for the rest of us. No one person has all of the pieces of the plan. Each of us have our part to share and teach to others.
- Take action in faith. Never see the small steps as unimportant. If only for today tell yourself you can do this. Trust that knowing-ness given to you at birth. That still small voice that teaches you and instructs you. Listen to it you know the masters voice.
Dr. Enaka Yembe is a Physician, and the founder of American Stat-Care centers who was able to open her first clinic from her sick bed in 2006 and grow it to a 7-figure company.
5 steps to taking action:
1.Have faith in your abilities. Each of us was born with the God-given ability to be successful. Hold fast to this thought, especially during moments of indecision.
2. Face your fears. What’s holding you back? Examine your fears closely and work on overcoming them. Is the fear rational, in reaction to real danger? Or, is it based on emotion?
3. Step out of your comfort zone. Stretching ourselves a little takes courage and requires us to take action. Stepping out of our comfort zone will give us new confidence and hence the courage to reach new heights.
4.Accept failure. Failure will come. It’s a part of life. Use your failures as stepping-stones to success. Learn from failures and move on. Don’t wait to take action because of the fear of failure.
5. Be independent. Learn to stand on your own and have confidence in the decisions that you make. Avoid relying on the support or approval of those around who will prevent you from taking action.
Next-week Habits:
Habits are routine behaviors done on a regular basis. They are recurrent and often unconscious patterns of behavior and are acquired through frequent repetition. Many of these are unconscious as we don’t even realize we are doing them.
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
Week 4 “WORDS” The Fuel of Your Destiny”
Words!
Sticks and stones will break my bones, but “WORDS” will never hurt me. A phrase repeated on the playground by children when I was growing up. A catchy phrase to deflect the hurt when someone uses words as a weapon. The truth is it’s just not true!
Words have led to horrific disasters, protracted wars, kingdoms, and dynasties have been toppled by the sheer power of words. Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me? They can also heal, strengthen, motivate and encourage. Choose wisely it’s your L.I.F.E.
An excerpt from: An article by Christopher Antony Meade In History, sometimes, words can kill.
The power behind selecting your vocabulary with care lies in your ability to manage your language in order to better manage your emotions. When you’re aware that words are powerful and create emotion at all levels, you can then manage your vocabulary to assure that the words you use serve you well. Once you begin to identify words you use that don’t serve you or your future in a positive manner, simply replace them with more constructive and courageous vocabulary. The words you write or speak to others can leave a huge impact and create a lasting memory–either good or bad–so it’s important to choose them wisely.
- “Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don’t mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime.” -Rachel Wolchin
- “Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can be only forgiven, not forgotten.” -Unknown
- “Words are free. It’s how you use them that may cost you.” -KushandWizdom
- “Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” -Rumi
- “…But the human tongue is a beast that few can master. It strains constantly to break out of its cage, and if it is not tamed, it will run wild and cause you grief.” -Unknown
- “The secret of being boring is to say everything.” -Voltaire
- “One kind word can change someone’s entire day.” -Unknown
- “Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” -Pearl Strachan Hurd
- “Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble.” -Yehuda Berg
- “My task, which I am trying to achieve is, by the power of the written word, to make you hear, to make you feel–it is, before all, to make you see.” -Joseph Conrad
- “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” -Mother Teresa
- “The tongue has no bones, but is strong enough to break a heart. So be careful with your words.” -Unknown
- “Be careful what you say. You can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there.” -Joel Osteen
- “All I need is a sheet of paper and something to write with, and then I can turn the world upside down.” -Friedrich Nietzsche
- “Don’t mix bad words with your bad mood. You’ll have many opportunities to change a mood, but you’ll never get the opportunity to replace the words you spoke.” -Unknown
- “Don’t ever diminish the power of words. Words move hearts and hearts move limbs.” -Hamza Yusuf
- “Words are seeds that do more than blow around. They land in our hearts and not the ground. Be careful what you plant and careful what you say. You might have to eat what you planted one day.” -Unknown
- “Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.” -Edgar Allan Poe
- “A broken bone can heal, but the wound a word opens can fester forever.” -Jessamyn West
- “Good words are worth much, and cost little.” -George Herbert
- “Your words have power. Speak words that are kind, loving, positive, uplifting, encouraging, and life-giving.” -Unknown
- “Kind words are a creative force, a power that concurs in the building up of all that is good, and energy that showers blessings upon the world.” -Lawrence G. Lovasik
- “No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.” -John Keating
- “The best word shakers were the ones who understood the true power of words. They were the ones who could climb the highest.” -Markus Zusak
- “Speech has power. Words do not fade. What starts out as a sound, ends in a deed.” -Abraham Joshua Herschel
- “If we understood the power of our thoughts, we would guard them more closely. If we understood the awesome power of our words, we would prefer silence to almost anything negative. In our thoughts and words, we create our own weaknesses and our own strengths. Our limitations and joys begin in our hearts. We can always replace negative with positive.”
-Betty Eadie PUBLISHED ON: NOV 5, 2015
I would encourage you to read “Your Word is Your Wand Florence Scovel Shinn Published 1928” available on amazon. “So man has power to change an unhappy condition by waving over it the wand of his word.” Consider that all you do begins with what you think and allow in your mind and how you express those thoughts through words. So far we have talked about thoughts, turning thoughts into words,and Next week Words into
ACTIONS!
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
Week 1″Thoughts the Beginning of a Destiny”
Week 1
“THOUGHTS”
If failure were money I would be a millionaire.
If uncertainty was an educational degree I would have a masters.
If disappointments were rewarded I would be the guest of honor.
If anxiety was a temperature mine would at least be 103. Not enough to kill me but enough to really keep me down.
In spite of these ongoing challenges in life I have managed to earn my living over the years in several capacity’s that from the outside some would say I was not necessarily qualified for. I have been granted access in manufacturing facility’s pitching products or services that were beyond my expertise. I have been trusted with and been on dangerous assignments on offshore and land based drilling rigs where a simple mistake or a moment of indecision could be fatal. I have asked for and been granted appointments with business leaders way above my socio, educational and economic level. I have provided advice, and expertise in areas where some would say I was not qualified for. I have been given guidance and direction from individuals who had nothing to gain from me, and yet were compelled to do just that.
The commonality in all was and is my “thinking”. I am convinced I just didn’t realize I wasn’t qualified, and drive and ambition blindly pushed me forward toward what I wanted to be, do, or have. Given some thought could be that true for you as well?
I know it’s not just that simple, to think and it will be. Yet in 1937 Napoleon Hill wrote a bestselling training and motivational book entitled “Think and Grow Rich”. Maxwell Malts in 1960 wrote “Psycho-Cybernetics”. His work defines the mind-body connection as the core in succeeding in attaining personal goals. My favorite Zig Ziegler wrote “See You at The Top” “The how to book that gives you a checkup from the neck up to eliminate stinkin thinkin and avoid hardening of the attitudes” in 1982 and many others until his passing in 2012.
All of these men studied, researched, and provided instruction as to the importance of what we think. Eastern philosophies touted the benefits and importance of our thoughts. The Bible in addressing maters of the heart or spirit addresses the challenges of what we think and allow into our minds: Simply put, “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he” Proverbs 23 vs 7.
It has been said we only have control over three things in our life:
The thoughts we think.
The images we visualize.
The actions we take.
I have found that to be true in my life have you?
So what do I do, if how I manage my thoughts and how and what I think is so very important, how do I go about managing what I think? Or can we?
see you next week!
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
A letter to my Mom. Charice’s story
A letter to my Mom “ Rosemary Caldwell”,
I wanted you to see the power of what I call “generational living by example”. What I have learned from you and Dad and what Vilma learned from her Mom and Dad is bearing fruit, “growing”. Sometimes it seems what has been planted is not blooming as expected. Has what’s been sown not taken root, have we failed in our efforts to teach, and direct, by example.
No, it has been gaining strength, just below the surface, until its time. Encouragement, determination, acceptance, direction, and often intervention win out over the challenges of life. An overwhelming garden of beauty, so many wonderful and different flowers “our children and grandchildren” spring up and show their beauty. It is a reminder to me and I wanted to share Charice’s story with you
( there were more than 82 likes and comments to her post. Clearly her heart and actions touched others) .
Vilma and I will never let our garden go unattended. These treasures “children and grandchildren” strengthen my heart and give wings to my purpose in life. Thank you for loving me so I could understand and love those who follow in your steps and ours.
Dwight Sr.
Charice Thoman
11 hrs
I was reminded again, tonight, what it means to be a nurse. To give love and compassion to each individual in their most trying times.
While suctioning the trach (airway) of a young man, only 8 years older than my son, I gently rubbed his arm and reassured him he will be ok, as he was very anxious. After he motioned to me that his airway was clear, he reached out his arm, grabbed my hand and squeezed it as tears rolled down his face. He can’t speak due to the tracheotomy, but ‘lipped’ “Thank you”. Most times it just takes a little extra TLC and comforting to let people not only know, but *feel* you care about them.
Charice, I could not be more proud of you. Your strength and compassion commitment and determination are the cornerstones of our family. Your heart encourages me your actions inspire me. Never stop growing always trust your heart. Love Dad.
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
www.tellthemyourstory .org
When this is the ongoing “result” it’s time to “let go” and move on.
When this is the ongoing “result” it’s time to “let go” and move on.
They act as if you don’t matter. Your family or a friend but your still an outsider.
What you say has no weight or concern even if there’s proof.
Prefer others over you in their actions.
Do not include you in the conversation.
Think and act as if it’s ok for you to be harmed by others “it must have been your fault”
“If you were more like us you wouldn’t have these problems”.
Your experience or expertise is of no value and often questioned. Even if there is proof!
Ignore you over others in a group.
Talk about you to each other but do not talk to you.
Invite you and then ignore you.
Call you for a favor but never reciprocate.
Listen to your concerns and then explain them away and how you misunderstood in the first place.
Talk to each other about your failure and come to the conclusion you deserved it.
Talk about prayer but never take “physical” action to actually change anything.
Ask you how you are doing only to take that as gossip to others.
………..
Quote: Marc and Angel Chernoff “Getting Back to Happy” 2018 Penguin Random House Publishing LLC
“If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are inconsistently inconsistent, and their actions never match up with their words, it might be time to let them go. It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company. In the end true friendship/family is a promise made in the heart, silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time. So don’t just listen to what they say, watch what they do. “
“It’s just words”.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
Writer, Speaker, Author.
www.tellthemyourstory .org
dwightspeaks@gmail.com
Breaking Through: Monster Trucks and Spiritual Dreams
Dreams, I am amazed how often I have them and especially the ones I remember. For me they often seem to be meant to encourage, direct or break through. I have no scientific documentation, to base my assertion on but I do have friends and family that have had similar experiences. I remembered John Travolta played in a movie several years ago where a bright light in the night sky projected on to him, knocked him down in the street, and when he woke up he was significantly smarter and able to suggest solutions to significant problems. Just to be clear ( LOL) I have not been struck by a bright light in the night sky and my family and friends have not indicated they have seen any change in my intelligence. I do however hope that my experience just like the character in the move will help you to break through what’s been holding you back.
Recently I dreamed I was running away from something or someone and I was very agitated. I was in what seemed to be a monster truck. You know the ones that are so high you need a ladder to get in. Large tires, cramped seating space, flashy exterior, and above it all. Its all about power, brut force, and able to over power and muscle through anything. I was driving, up high, in what seemed to be a warehouse. I could see tools and materials on the ground below me. I was looking for a way out of the warehouse. I saw many open doors/exits but because I was up so high I could not get through the doors.
I saw two men outside of the truck door on the drivers side. One was large the other was small. The larger one reached inside the cab of the monster truck and grab the GPS off of the dash. I took the keys from the ignition and began hitting him on the head with them. As this was happening something with numerous legs or tentacles attached to my head. Something like a centipede but with a hard shell. The smaller man told me to dismantle the legs and pull them off one by one from the grip they had on my head. As I began doing so I noticed it did not hurt like I had expected. As I thought about this dream when I woke up I came to the conclusion this is how it applies to me.
The monster truck represented my self will and desire for significance. I had been determining my own way and direction ( the GPS) and not totally depending on Him. I desperately wanted to get out of the warehouse (where my way of doing things had taken me) where I felt trapped and frustrated and be able to use the tools that were clearly available to me. There were numerous open doors or exits but being up so high ( my own self imposed need for importance) I could not escape. To do so would require steeping down from the drivers seat and not in control of the course or direction.
The large man is my Heavenly Father reaching in to my life to take way what I had been using for my direction and purpose ( the GPS). I stubbornly attempted to hang on to the keys (control) and used them to assert my will. The smaller man is the Holy Spirit and directed me to began dismantling those thoughts, and ways of being that had become so attached to my mind. In doing so I experienced freedom and relief, not pain.
I am amazed at how this simple yet detailed dream speaks to me. I needed to understand how I arrived at my current destination and how to correct my course. Proverbs 3 : 5-7 instructs us to Lean on trust in and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight and understanding. In all your ways know, recognize and acknowledge Him and He will direct and make straight and plain your path. Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn entirely away from evil.
I hope you will be challenged and encouraged to join me in letting go, surrendering self and following Christ. Courage and obedience produce great rewards.
May God bless your life as you pursue Him. May Gods love and kindness direct you as we are renewed and strengthened as he does a new thing in our lives, the journey to our new life is on foot, led by the Spirit and Gods Word, to serve Him, and others.
Dwight L. Carter Sr.
“A trust broken cannot be repaired, but does provide a new beginning.”
A simple yet profound phone call changed my life. Little did I know I was about to experience a betrayal I could not have ever imagined. An offer to resolve a problem, a need fulfilled at an opportunity of vulnerability, words from a trusted source.
Words are powerful, they have influence, especially coming from someone in authority or someone who fills a respected role. An experience that changed my thinking, willingness, and how I process information before I allow someone into my circle of trust. A change that has made its way to the roots of my mental, physical, and spiritual way of life.
Growing up it was easy to trust the people around me. My Father, Mother, Sister, Grandparents, Aunts, and Uncles. My well being was at the heart of their concern, evidenced by what they did or didn’t do, or said, or didn’t say. The clarity of their actions matched the words they expressed. If I was told an action was going to be taken it happened? Whether it was punishment, reward, instruction, or support, I could count on it. No manipulation, half-truths, or blatant lying. Just the truth, truth you could count on, and most of all trust
I have experienced 3 layoffs, and let go without cause twice in my work life. The layoffs were over a 22 year period as a sales rep in the ever cyclical oilfield. I loved that line of work. The other 2, one by a sales manager that took my efforts and applied them to her boyfriend, my coworker to boost his sales. They did marry after I was let go but I also learned they were both fired not to long after that. Him for code of conduct violations namely paying someone to inflate his sales numbers and her after being demoted for participating in the scheme, decided to retire and become a minister. I didn’t see that coming. The second was either my age, or my salary, my performance, or maybe she just didn’t like me. I had been top perform the 5 years prior to joining her team. After 40 years as a professional in the workforce, numerous life experiences, and conversations with other professionals, I guess that’s just about par for the course.
Oh I have also been kidnapped at gun point in my own car, survived a major Automobile accident, had a 10,000 lb. blowout preventer underneath a drilling rig, being held by a hydraulic support system slip 6 inches (another few and I would have been a spot in the mud), survived a brain tumor after 9/1/2 hour of surgery and back at work in 6 weeks. My point in all of that is, at this point in my life as they say, I am a seasoned veteran. The people, places, and things in life, the good, the bad and the really bad at times have broken me. Yet provided an opportunity to rebuild, and thankfully, made me stronger.
So I have some experience in the difficulty’s of life, and let me just say it’s worth remembering, who our Heavenly Father is and the purpose He has for our lives. Luke 4:18:says, “He has anointed me to preach the good news to the poor, He has sent me to announce release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, to send forth delivered those who are oppressed, who are downtrodden, bruised, crushed, and broken down by calamity. ”
Encourage others as a way of L. I. F. E. this is my purpose, and opportunity’s to fulfill that purpose are presented daily. Transforming the past, present, and future by the renewing of the mind through stories, true story’s that challenge the heart and engage the mind.
Start today to let go of the past, but don’t forget the lessons. A greater vision of ones purpose is available through Gods word and prayer, in spite of what ones day, to day circumstances in life may be. Look for those opportunity’s to set self aside and surrender to Gods perfect will for your life. Manage your thoughts and focus on His will and plan for your life. Opportunity’s to serve and “trust” Him and others will show up unexpectedly with purpose. Those divine appointments that minister to you and encourage others.
“Eyes and heart open, there is no better way to live”.dlc
May God bless your life as you pursue Him! May Gods love and kindness direct you as we are renewed and strengthened as He does a new thing in our lives, the journey to our new lives is on foot, led by the Spirit, to serve Him, and others.
Dwight